What is a parent to do in this stage of parenting?
When all options seem to be awful, when you have hit your limit, when you are arguing with your partner over what to do, when you aren’t sure whether to protect your child or let the consequences of the world do their worst—you need a fresh perspective.
Read more
What is a parent to do in this stage of parenting?
When all options seem to be awful, when you have hit your limit, when you are arguing with your partner over what to do, when you aren’t sure whether to protect your child or let the consequences of the world do their worst—you need a fresh perspective.
What is a parent to do in this stage of parenting?
When all options seem to be awful, when you have hit your limit, when you are arguing with your partner over what to do, when you aren’t sure whether to protect your child or let the consequences of the world do their worst—you need a fresh perspective.
Paul Krauss MA LPC has been working with young adults and their parents since 2007. During this time, Paul has developed a knack for understanding the attitudes and motivations of young adults, while also empathizing with the unique challenges that parents of young adults’ face in light of the chaotic and dangerous world that they see awaiting their children.
Drawing on his experience working with young adults and their parents in Chicago, Phoenix, and Grand Rapids, MI, as well as his clinical skills and post-graduate education—Paul has put together an informational course for the parents of young adults who are desperate to find answers, and develop a plan to help their child avoid devastation and meet their full potential.
Once called the “failure to launch” generation, today’s young adults are facing unprecedented challenges, leaving many parents of young adults fearful, confused, and agitated. Today’s young adults face an unstable job market, the ever-increasing availability of drugs, alcohol, and sexual hook ups, uncertain career prospects, high-housing costs, and political and social upheaval.
While many parents are anxious to help their young adults move out and begin their adult life, these same parents of young adults often feel “frozen” in terms of attempting to sort out financial support (how much, how often, and when to stop), what is the difference between a cry for help and basic “drama”, how to change patterns of communication with their young adult from a child-like exchange to an adult-to-adult conversation, and more.
In 6 modules and almost 3 hours of video, Paul will walk you through pragmatic ideas that can help you with your young adult, including: Safety, navigating the mental health system, understanding change and a young adult's mentality, how to have more effective conversations with your young adult, how to enforce boundaries, working on helping without enabling, and what to do if my young adult has an addiction?
1. What is an Emergency? Crisis as Opportunity: When to utilize Mental Health
Services and Understanding Levels of Care.
2. Understanding Stages of Change and Rites of Passage for Young Adults. Why do
they think that way? Understanding the motivations and attitudes of today’s
Young Adults.
3. Changing Communication Patterns: A Whole New Paradigm.
4. Setting up Realistic Boundaries: Stop enabling, start enforcing, and roll with the
resistance.
5. Ways to help Promote Prosocial Activities and Reduce Antisocial Behaviors
6. What if my Young Adult has Addictive Tendencies?
This course comes with a great deal of video teaching, stories, and anecdotes and a course overview document with many suggestions.
Thanks to over 14 years of experience, you will be gaining a great deal of knowledge.
Many parents ask me questions, some of these questions were the basis of the creation of this course.
“What do I do if my young adult is using drugs and alcohol?”
“I feel like if I stop giving my young adult money—they will go homeless; I can’t do that.”
“My young adult no longer listens to me and they only call when they need financial assistance or help with something.”
“Every time I talk to my child, we end up arguing about politics and religion and it is awful.”
“My young adult blames me for all of their problems.”
“My young adult has threatened to stop talking to me or not let me see my grandchildren.”
“My young adult has told me that if I don’t help them buy a car, they will never get a job and end up being a failure and it will be all my fault.”
“My young adult believes that marijuana and alcohol are beneficial for their mental health and that it ‘helps them’ with their anxiety—I disagree, but am afraid to say anything.”
“My spouse and I are constantly arguing over how much money we should give to our young adult—I feel that they have no boundaries—they tell me that I am a bad parent.”
“I am afraid that my young adult will commit suicide if I set up boundaries.”
“My spouse is constantly texting with our young adult about every little thing, I believe it is unhealthy to communicate that much with a young person who needs to be making their own decisions and communicating with friends their own age.”
“I found out my spouse was still doing our young adult’s laundry—and that they had been paying for their groceries to be delivered to their apartment because they were ‘anxious.’”
“My child, who is now a young adult, has a drug and alcohol habit and I am worried they are going to die of addiction—what can I do to stop them?”
“My young adult has completely abandoned the morals and ethics I taught them as a child and rejects our family’s belief systems completely—what do I do?”
“My young adult has dropped out of college multiple times and I can’t understand why they won’t just finish their education.”
“I fear that my young adult is addicted to their phone, the internet, and video games—what can do I?”
“My young adult goes from doctor to doctor and is now on a handful of prescriptions—I don’t think they are addressing the real issues and are now dependent on psychotropic medications to function—what do I say?”
If you are looking for answers, then this course is for you.
What's inside
Syllabus
Introduction
Come to class with an open mind, ready to learn practical ways to change the paradigm within their Young Adult. My intention is to provide information from my experience in the field of Psychology and Counseling to help parents who are not sure what to do next. This is a blame-free zone where parents can reflect on the information contained in the modules. Each parent will notice new information and hopefully feel encouraged to make changes, and connect to local resources which will empower and embolden them.
This 6-Module course covers six major topics that can help you move along on your journey with your child. We will focus on practical solutions for parents wanting a change with their young adult. You will be provided with suggestions for connecting with local practitioners, interventionists, and on-going support groups to help you on your journey. To read more about each session’s subject, please click the session tab.
Disclaimer: This course was created by Paul Krauss MA LPC for educational purposes only. This course contains the opinions of Paul Krauss MA LPC and should not be taken as the “definitive opinion” or “absolute psychological or behavioral opinion” on any subject. Consuming this course is not a substitute for medical, psychological, counseling or any other sort of professional care. Consumption of these materials is for your own education and any medical, psychological, behavioral or professional care decisions should be made between you and your therapist, counselor, interventionist, behavioral health expert, primary care doctor or another provider that you are engaged with.
*Please read the downloadable disclaimer attached to this course for more details*
Read more
Syllabus
Come to class with an open mind, ready to learn practical ways to change the paradigm within their Young Adult. My intention is to provide information from my experience in the field of Psychology and Counseling to help parents who are not sure what to do next. This is a blame-free zone where parents can reflect on the information contained in the modules. Each parent will notice new information and hopefully feel encouraged to make changes, and connect to local resources which will empower and embolden them.
This 6-Module course covers six major topics that can help you move along on your journey with your child. We will focus on practical solutions for parents wanting a change with their young adult. You will be provided with suggestions for connecting with local practitioners, interventionists, and on-going support groups to help you on your journey. To read more about each session’s subject, please click the session tab.
Disclaimer: This course was created by Paul Krauss MA LPC for educational purposes only. This course contains the opinions of Paul Krauss MA LPC and should not be taken as the “definitive opinion” or “absolute psychological or behavioral opinion” on any subject. Consuming this course is not a substitute for medical, psychological, counseling or any other sort of professional care. Consumption of these materials is for your own education and any medical, psychological, behavioral or professional care decisions should be made between you and your therapist, counselor, interventionist, behavioral health expert, primary care doctor or another provider that you are engaged with.
*Please read the downloadable disclaimer attached to this course for more details*
Paul Krauss has been working with young adults and their parents since 2007. He developed a knack for understanding the attitudes and motivations of young adults, while also empathizing with the unique challenges that parents of young adults’ face in light of the chaotic world that they see awaiting their children. Paul has put together an informational course for parents who are desperate to find answers, and develop a plan to help their child avoid devastation and meet their full potential.
Today’s young adults are facing unprecedented challenges, such as an unstable job market, the ever-increasing availability of drugs & alcohol, uncertain career prospects & much more. While many parents are anxious to help their young adults move out and begin their adult life, many feel frozen in terms of how to offer the best support. Parents are seeking answers on how to change patterns of communication, change their relationship with their child, navigate the mental health system and more.
Disclaimer: This course was created by Paul Krauss MA LPC for educational purposes only. This course contains the opinions of Paul Krauss MA LPC and should not be taken as the “definitive opinion” or “absolute psychological or behavioral opinion” on any subject. Consuming this course is not a substitute for medical, psychological, counseling or any other sort of professional care. Consumption of these materials is for your own education and any medical, psychological, behavioral or professional care decisions should be made between you and your therapist, counselor, interventionist, behavioral health expert, primary care doctor or another provider that you are engaged with.
*Please read the downloadable disclaimer attached to this course for more details*
For Parents of Young Adults: What do we do now? A Course Overview
Module 1. What is an Emergency? Crisis as Opportunity: When to utilize Mental
Health Services and Understanding Levels of Care.
● Emergencies will happen, utilize them as an opportunity:
○ To make sure your Young Adult is safe
○ To get your Young Adult into treatment
○ To set appropriate boundaries with your Young Adult
● Know the signs: Red Light, Yellow Light, and Green Light
○ Be Cautious and make sure you use emergency services:
■ Overdose
■ Suicide
■ Risky behaviors
● ALL HAPPEN SOMETIMES
○ When in doubt, seek us out!
■ Local crisis intervention services
■ Police department
■ Hospitals
■ Treatment Centers
Red: Call Crisis
Yellow: Engage in a Conversation
Green: Open Communication
Resources to have on hand:
● A local crisis line (through the county or state)
● Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255
● Domestic Abuse Hotline 800.799.7233
● Local Police Non-Emergency number
● 9-1-1
A. Crisis as Opportunity
a. Facing consequences can be the key to growth!
b. Release Your Need for Control
1. Levels of Care and Treatment Options
a. Family therapy can help everyone discover their roles and goals
A crisis is an opportunity for change!
2. Navigating the Mental Health System
a. Preventative Medicine-- the best medicine!
i. Learning opportunities
For Parents of Young Adults: What do we do now? A Course Overview
ii. Play Opportunities
iii. Coached/Group play
iv. Exercise
v. Adequate sleep
vi. A diet low in processed foods
vii. Limit sugar and caffeine
b. Individual Therapy
i. Formal setting
ii. Weekly, hour-long sessions
iii. 79% report improvement. (Wampold, B. E. (2001). The great
psychotherapy debate: Models, methods, and findings. Mahwah, NJ:
Erlbaum.
iv. EMDR or Mind-Body Therapy
1. Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing (EMDR
Therapy)
2. Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction
3. Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT)
c. Family Therapy
i. Can create a new dynamic
d. Intensive Family Therapy
i. Longer or more frequent sessions
ii. Can involve a mediator
e. Behavioral Coach
i. Help on the ground
ii. Can be group setting
f. Evidence-based parenting
g. Group Therapy
● peer setting
h. Intensive Outpatient Programs
i. 3-4 days per week
ii. hosted by treatment center
iii. 2-3 hours in length
iv. combines group therapy and psychoeducation
i. Partial Hospitalization
i. post-hospital stay
ii. 4-5 days per week
iii. 6-8 hours in length
iv. designed to provide more acute care
j. Inpatient Hospitalization
i. ensures safety
ii. includes medications, intensive therapy
k. Long-term Hospitalization
i. rare situation
ii. used for substance abuse or risky behavior
For Parents of Young Adults: What do we do now? A Course Overview
l. Long-term Outdoor Adventure Behavioral Modification Programs
i. for adolescents and adults
ii. change of scene
m. Long-term Residential Programs
i. designed for teens, adults
ii. at treatment centers
iii. available throughout the country
iv. long-term multi-faceted care
v. provide rehabilitation
Module 1- Mini Tip
Get your young adult the help they need
1. Focus your conversation on safety, and then seek treatment
2. WARNING! If you’re unsure, get help
3. Look for the warning signs of addiction:
● Alcohol
● Drugs
● Video games
● Television
● Computers
● Shopping
● Or others”
For Parents of Young Adults: What do we do now? A Course Overview
2. Understanding Stages of Change and Rites of Passage for Young Adults.
Why do they think that way?
Understanding the motivations and attitudes of today’s Young Adults.
Fact:
● The brain is still developing until, at least, age 25
● Stages of Change
○ Precontemplation
○ Contemplation
○ Preparation for action
○ Action
○ Maintenance
○ Relapse
● Zone of Proximal Development: Refers to the difference between what a learner can do
without help and what he or she can achieve with guidance and encouragement from a
skilled partner.
● It takes 66 days to form a new habit
● Change is a process.
What are:
● The Rites of Passage
● Currently, “Prolonged adolescence is a stand in for a rite of passage”
● Growth process provides:
● Confidence
● Meaning
● Difficulties Before Change:
○ Cultural expectations
○ Enmeshment
○ Finances
○ Family or Personal Expectations
Module 2-- Mini-Tip
● Empathy and Self-Reflection
○ Reflect on your journey
○ Empathy is needed to support change
○ Invest in your young adult’s independence!
○ Demonstrate your love by setting appropriate boundaries
● Lack of empathy and unreasonable expectations create distance in a relationship.
For Parents of Young Adults: What do we do now? A Course Overview
3. Changing Communication Patterns: A Whole New Paradigm.
● Note your Current Family Dynamics and Patterns
○ Love is your best weapon
○ Listening is your best tool
Try:
1. “How can I best support you? What do you need?”
● Then offer appropriate help-- think it over, preserve boundaries, follow through
● Tips for successful changing of the communication patterns:
○ Less judgement, more caring
○ Belief systems-- political, religious, lifestyle differences
○ Emotional support, not projection
● Socrates: Teaching independence
Module 3- Mini-Tip
● Tip: Honest, Open Communication is Essential!”
Mindfully Plan Your Communication
● Avoid Interrogation
● Invite, Listen, Summarize
● Offer affirmations
● Share a story
● Right time and place
● Active listening
● Avoid offering advice or over-questioning
● Engage in activities together
● Give them space
Note Your and Your Young Adults’ Love Languages:
● Words of Affirmation
● Acts of Service
● Receiving Gifts
● Quality Time
● Physical Touch
For Parents of Young Adults: What do we do now? A Course Overview
4. Setting up Realistic Boundaries:
Stop enabling, start enforcing, and roll with the resistance.
● Clear boundaries and roles can improve relationships
● Decide what you will provide:
○ Wisdom
○ Guidance
○ Emotional support
○ Material support
● Boundary: a clearly defined space between individuals.
● Enabling: pattern of organized behavior among the family/friends of an individual that
ignores or smooths over their actions, removing responsibility.
● Codependence: excessive reliance on another person.
● What if you meet with resistance?
○ Ask questions
○ Remain supportive
○ Stay engaged
○ Don’t push too much
○ Your boundaries will encourage adaptation
● Providing Resources
● Make a plan
● Allow time to adjust
● Housing plan
● Health Care
Module 4- Mini-tip
● Accountability and Realistic Rules
● Use words wisely
● Make appropriate standards
● Allow them to learn from their own mistakes
● Create an action plan together
● Use an appropriate system of earned compensation
● Create boundaries for each resource
● Give time and attention
● Be consistent with rewards and consequences
● Allow natural consequences to happen
For Parents of Young Adults: What do we do now? A Course Overview
5. Ways to help Promote Prosocial Activities and Reduce Antisocial Behaviors
● Prosocial activities: social behavior that benefits other people or society as a whole.
○ Make rewards contingent upon participation
○ Reinforce positive participation
● Antisocial behaviors: actions that harm or lack consideration for the well-being of others.
○ Remove incentives or resources to participate
○ Encourage activities that provide meaning
Your presence, time, and caring are needed more than your knowledge!
Module 5 Mini-tip:
● Healthy Relationships and Quality Time
○ Intentional family time reduces substance use
TIP: Make your time together:
● Intentional
● Scheduled
● Engaged in conversation
● Sharing an activity”
TIP: Follow through and consistency are key!”
Ways to show love (from 4 Seasons of Recovery, by Mike Speakman):
● Words of encouragement, spoken or written
● Hugs
● Emotional Support through Listening
● Share a meal
For Parents of Young Adults: What do we do now? A Course Overview
6. What if my Young Adult Struggles with Addictive Tendencies or Addiction?
Addictions can be debilitating or even lethal, so
● Do your research
● Seek local professional help
● Give the addiction immediate attention
Types of Addiction:
● Chemical Addiction: involves the use of a substance
● Behavioral Addiction: refers to compulsive behavior
● The Reward System
● Dopamine-- reinforces associations with pleasure
● Cravings-- often serve as first signs of addition
● Tolerance-- the brain’s reward system becomes altered by continued substance use,
requiring increasing amounts of the substance to produce the same brain response.
● Disinterest-- addiction builds the belief that the addictive substance is needed in order to
enjoy anything
● Loss of control-- addictive use of substances can lead to job loss, health issues,
problems in relationships, can lead to brain disease”
● Substance abuse-- long term use characterized by daily intoxication, tending to
compulsivity; can become a brain disease”
Myths v. Facts:
● Myth: Drug addiction is a voluntary behavior
● Fact: Continued use changes the brain until use becomes compulsive
● Myth: Drug addiction is a character flaw
● Fact: Drug addiction is a brain disease
● Myth: Treatment must be desired in order to be effective
● Fact: Treatment is frequently sought due to court order or at personal request
● Myth: Treatment is only required once
● Fact: Drug addiction is a chronic disorder, and most require long term or repeated
treatment
● Myth: “A “magic bullet” treatment for all addiction is possible
● Fact: Everyone responds differently and require a program tailored to their needs
● Myth: Treatment is not needed to become sober
● Fact: It is difficult to achieve and maintain sobriety
● Myth: Treatment doesn’t work
● Fact: Treatment reduces drug use by 40-60%, significantly reduces criminal activity
For Parents of Young Adults: What do we do now? A Course Overview
● Myth: No one will seek treatment before hitting “rock bottom”
● Fact: Many factors can motivate someone to seek treatment
● Myth: You cannot force someone into treatment
● Fact: Treatment does not need to be voluntary to achieve success
● Myth: A treatment standard is needed
● Fact: The best results come from individualized, multifaceted treatment programs and
family involvement
● Myth: All treatment is equivalent
● Fact: It takes time and effort to find the right fit
● Myth: Treatment can be finished in a few weeks
● Fact: 90 days are required for full treatment, plus frequent follow-up care afterwards
● Myth: Some people are hopeless cases
● Fact: Relapse is part of recovery, recovery is a long process
● American Society of Addiction Medicine-- asam.org
● People who have substance use disorders as well as mental health disorders are
diagnosed as having co-occurring disorders.
● A basic treatment team should consist of a doctor and a therapist
● Support groups: get connected!
○ Alcoholics Anonymous
○ Narcotics Anonymous
○ Marijuana Anonymous
○ Look for community centers with existing programs
○ Smart Recovery: www.smartrecovery.org/
○ The Parents of Addicted Loved Ones: palgroup.org/
● Knowledge is power, but safety is paramount!
Now it is time to take action. Write down small goals weekly or biweekly, that are brief, specific, and doable regarding which tips are you going to try and when. To find a specific way to apply the aforementioned tips to the problem you are facing, try the following problem solving skills:
First, define the problem. Second, Brainstorm ALL possible solutions with a professional or someone you trust. Third, Eliminate all possible solutions if you are not willing to try. Fourth, select a solution that you would like to use. Next, frame your goal for the week: First, Write down a goal based on the possible solution you found to the problem. Second, write down all the steps you can think of that will help you achieve this goal. Third, write down all potential barriers that may get in your way. Fourth, write down ways to navigate around or through potential barriers.
Remember, it is difficult to do this alone.
You are not alone, but you may need to reach out for help.
We all need resources and connection with others.
Get connected:
Find a Licensed Professional Counselor for your young adult, and family experience.
Get trained in motivational interviewing techniques and other nonviolent communication methods to be able to talk to your young adult.
Find a licensed interventionist in your area if you need help.
Connect with a consultant who can tell you about various intensive treatment options if that is something that is needed.
Disclaimer: This course was created by Paul Krauss MA LPC for educational purposes only. This course contains the opinions of Paul Krauss MA LPC and should not be taken as the “definitive opinion” or “absolute psychological or behavioral opinion” on any subject. Consuming this course is not a substitute for medical, psychological, counseling or any other sort of professional care. Consumption of these materials is for your own education and any medical, psychological, behavioral or professional care decisions should be made between you and your therapist, counselor, interventionist, behavioral health expert, primary care doctor or another provider that you are engaged with.
*Please read the downloadable disclaimer attached to this course for more details*
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Reviews summary
Practical parenting strategies for young adults
Appreciated the instructor's knowledge and empathy.
Provides valuable information on crisis and addiction.
Offers actionable tips for talking to young adults.
Activities
Read 'Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children'
Show steps
Provides a foundation for understanding and implementing healthy boundaries, a core theme of the course.
View
Putting Knowledge to Work
on Amazon
Show steps
-
Obtain a copy of the book.
-
Read the book, highlighting key concepts.
-
Reflect on your own boundary challenges.
Review Stages of Change Model
Show steps
Familiarizes you with a key psychological model used to understand and facilitate change in young adults.
Show steps
-
Research the Stages of Change model.
-
Identify the stages and their characteristics.
-
Consider how it applies to young adults.
Create a Family Communication Plan
Show steps
Helps you proactively address communication challenges and establish healthier patterns with your young adult.
Show steps
-
Identify current communication patterns.
-
Define desired communication goals.
-
Develop strategies for improvement.
-
Implement and evaluate the plan.
Four other activities
Expand to see all activities and additional details
Show all seven activities
Journaling: Reflect on Enabling Behaviors
Show steps
Encourages self-reflection on past enabling behaviors and helps identify areas for change.
Show steps
-
Define enabling behaviors.
-
Reflect on past interactions.
-
Identify enabling patterns.
-
Write down alternative responses.
Explore 'Adulting Made Easy'
Show steps
Provides insight into the challenges faced by young adults, fostering empathy and understanding.
View
Putting Knowledge to Work
on Amazon
Show steps
-
Obtain a copy of the book.
-
Read the book, noting key themes.
-
Reflect on your young adult's experiences.
Join a Parent Support Group
Show steps
Provides a supportive environment to share experiences, learn from others, and gain new perspectives on parenting young adults.
Show steps
-
Research local parent support groups.
-
Attend a meeting and share your experiences.
-
Listen to other parents' stories.
-
Offer and receive support.
Mentor a Young Adult
Show steps
Offers practical experience in guiding and supporting a young adult, reinforcing the course's principles.
Show steps
-
Find a mentoring opportunity.
-
Meet with the young adult regularly.
-
Provide guidance and support.
-
Reflect on your mentoring experience.
Read 'Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children'
Show steps
Provides a foundation for understanding and implementing healthy boundaries, a core theme of the course.
View
Putting Knowledge to Work
on Amazon
Show steps
- Obtain a copy of the book.
- Read the book, highlighting key concepts.
- Reflect on your own boundary challenges.
Review Stages of Change Model
Show steps
Familiarizes you with a key psychological model used to understand and facilitate change in young adults.
Show steps
- Research the Stages of Change model.
- Identify the stages and their characteristics.
- Consider how it applies to young adults.
Create a Family Communication Plan
Show steps
Helps you proactively address communication challenges and establish healthier patterns with your young adult.
Show steps
- Identify current communication patterns.
- Define desired communication goals.
- Develop strategies for improvement.
- Implement and evaluate the plan.
Journaling: Reflect on Enabling Behaviors
Show steps
Encourages self-reflection on past enabling behaviors and helps identify areas for change.
Show steps
- Define enabling behaviors.
- Reflect on past interactions.
- Identify enabling patterns.
- Write down alternative responses.
Explore 'Adulting Made Easy'
Show steps
Provides insight into the challenges faced by young adults, fostering empathy and understanding.
View
Putting Knowledge to Work
on Amazon
Show steps
- Obtain a copy of the book.
- Read the book, noting key themes.
- Reflect on your young adult's experiences.
Join a Parent Support Group
Show steps
Provides a supportive environment to share experiences, learn from others, and gain new perspectives on parenting young adults.
Show steps
- Research local parent support groups.
- Attend a meeting and share your experiences.
- Listen to other parents' stories.
- Offer and receive support.
Mentor a Young Adult
Show steps
Offers practical experience in guiding and supporting a young adult, reinforcing the course's principles.
Show steps
- Find a mentoring opportunity.
- Meet with the young adult regularly.
- Provide guidance and support.
- Reflect on your mentoring experience.
Career center
Psychologist
Substance Abuse Counselor
Mental Health Counselor
Family Therapist
Family Mediator
Youth Counselor
Social Worker
Rehabilitation Counselor
School Counselor
Employee Assistance Program Counselor
Guidance Counselor
Life Coach
Higher Education Administrator
Social and Community Service Manager
Residential Advisor
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