Quit your Porn Addiction for Good

This course is not designed to be a quick fix.  Like any addiction, the amount of work and effort you put in will directly affect the outcome of curing your addiction.  

This course is too long to read all in one day and I do not recommend doing that as I don’t want you to get burned out. What I do recommend is setting aside an amount of time each day to work through it - ideally it would be around 20-30 minutes each day.  

This course has over 100 lectures. Watch each lecture and at the end of each lecture there will be a small journal assignment and some additional outside resources you will need to read. Journalling is a powerful tool and this course will have journal prompts at the end of each section. 

This Course is not just about Quitting Porn but a Complete Lifestyle Change

Addiction is something that takes over the whole body;

• physically,

• mentally,

• and socially.

To cure an addiction, you don’t just stop doing that thing and go on your way.

It’s so much more than that.

I want you to think of this course as not just curing your porn addiction but a way of completely changing your life.

Think of it this way. When an alcoholic stops drinking alcohol but maintains the same lifestyle, they are typically miserable in doing so. The slang term that is often used is “dry drunk.” This means they feel and act the same even when sober.

That’s how it is with any addiction. People who are addicted to food, can stop eating food, sure but again, if they are miserable in doing so then what good is abstaining or not indulging if you’re feeling like crap?

In this course, we are going to talk about all aspects of your life, including your pornography addiction.

In addition, we’ll talk about how changing your lifestyle, relationships, and your outlook so that you can have greater success.

We’ll plan, take action, and prepare for the future.

Pornography has been traced back to prehistoric times. Governments in parts of Europe and all of America made obscure images illegal in the mid 1800s. This means it was illegal to publish or sell porn. Like anything that is outlawed, people found a way to traffic images and finally in the 1900s it became illegal to view or possess pornographic images as well.

When film started in the late 1800s and early 1900s, producers were excited to be part of a radical movement. It was very risky though because if caught they would be prosecuted and jailed. That didn’t stop them though.

Porn in black and white, in the early stages was nothing more than a strip tease and rarely showed any close ups of the penis or vagina.

In the mid 1900s, censorship began to overturn and finally, a major motion picture was released in 1969, in the genre of erotica. Erotic films were hard to come by and almost always had to have a special invite or members only type of scenario.

Finally, in the 1970s, when VHS tapes started to become popular so did “pornos.” You could find “pornos” at adult stores but it’s not as if there was one on every corner. If you’ve ever seen a 70s porn you will see how vastly different it is compared to what you see today.

VHS porns eventually turned into DVD porns and became easier and easier to obtain.

Then came the world wide web. This is where everything changed. Today, you can buy porn from your TV or watch it on the internet. It takes no effort to obtain and you have access to it 24/7.

With computer generated images, CGI, a lot of what you see is not even real. With CGI, you can view porn in video games and it’s been known that there are films out there with fake children and celebrities. Unlike the porn from the early 1900s, none of what you see today paints a realistic picture of what real sexual intercourse and intimacy looks like.

How Porn Negatively Affects the Brain

There is a chemical in your brain called dopamine.

Dopamine is a neurotransmitter which means it sends signals from one cell to another.

When a person engages in a behavior that is followed by a reward it activates the dopamine pathway.

The purpose of the pathway is to remember the reward motivated behavior.

When there is pleasure involved, your brain remembers this and each time you come upon a situation where the dopamine pathway was activated, your brain will release more dopamine before you engage in that behavior.

So for example, the first time you view porn, you don’t know beforehand whether or not it feels good.

Once you start engaging in the behavior, it feels good so the dopamine pathway is opened up and starts sending pleasure signals from one cell to another.

Fast forward to the next time you view porn. Before you even view the porn you start thinking about viewing the porn. Your brain has remembered this reward motivated behavior so the dopamine pathway has already opened up sending pleasure signals from one cell to another.

Before you know it, certain things will trigger the release of dopamine without you having to even think about it which then forces you to think about it when the dopamine pathway is opened up.

This is called a trigger.

The problem with all of this is that if you start to chronically view porn, your brain is constantly flooded with dopamine and in an order to regulate, the dopamine receptors get smaller.

When your brain has too little dopamine then it feels demotivated and this is where you may start to feel sad, lonely, depressed, or unmotivated.

The only way to get out of that feeling is to get more dopamine to the brain so you watch more porn.

If you’re feeling this way, it’s not your fault. Like any addiction, it’s not a matter of self control and you can now see why there is science backing the fact that an addiction is a brain disease.

The brain is what is called plasticity which means it can change based upon your environment and the information that you take in. This is good news because you can literally change your brain by not watching porn.

You may have wondered when you purchased this course why I touch on subjects that seem unrelated to porn addiction. The purpose of this course is to train your brain so that you can feel pleasure from other sources and the way to do that is to be action focused and give your brain time to heal.

That concludes our first unit where we talked about why this course is not just about quitting porn.

Quitting porn and curing any addiction involves a much deeper discussion and plan that involves the physical, psychological, and social aspects of your everyday life.

We also talked about the history of porn and how it has evolved over the years and how porn negatively affects your brain.

By taking this course, you’ll be taking action on all aspects of your life in order to rewire your brain so that you can be motivated and find pleasure in all areas of your life.

Now it’s time to reflect on this unit and do the assignments that are listed here.

Once you are done with the assignments, you can move on to unit two.

In this section we will talk about how porn may be affecting your current relationship and sex life.  We will talk about the importance of real, physical touch and how the intimacy you are watching on a screen does not mimic real life intimate moments.  We’ll also cover emotional barriers and how to break through those walls.  

Everybody has a different childhood and upbringing and the amount of touch varies from culture to culture but studies have shown a positive connection between touch and emotions. Real, physical touch that is consensual and positive produces positive emotions such as joy, love and empathy. Touch is a powerful way to communicate without words.

When you watch porn, take a look at what you think might be real and true intimacy. After this lesson, I want you to observe the actors as real people and think of them as someone you know or are close to such as a friend or family member. Now look at how they are touching each other. Does that seem real to you? It’s not. There is no connection between the two, or more, people.

Now you might be thinking well that’s how it is in the movies right? They are just actors and there is no real connection between the two people since they are just acting. Yes, that’s true. And, believe it or not, movie watching can be an addiction. However, an addiction to movie watching does not have the same effect on the brain as watching porn. People don’t get erectile dysfunction disorder and have to hide their actions from watching too many comedies.

Remember when we talked about the effects that porn has on the brain in the last section, remember, these activities and exercises are geared toward bringing awareness to the situation at hand.

Your homework for this lecture is to be an observer. Notice the touches when you are watching porn. If they stopped at touching only would you still be interested? Why not?

Human touch feels good and to experience the sensual and human part of any relationship, you need to understand the importance of it.

Emotional barriers are unconscious walls that people put between themselves and other people.

The thing about porn is that it’s easy and convenient to watch because you don’t have to be involved with another person emotionally.

This might resonate with some of you who initially struggled with intimacy and relationships but found porn as a way to escape from having to deal with strong emotional barriers.

After time though, the excitement and the pleasure wears off and you find yourself feeling guilty or sad even but because you are addicted, like any drug, you find it hard to stop. And each time you watch porn you are falling deeper and deeper into the hole and further and further away from the people you care about.

One key aspect to quitting porn is to find out what emotional barriers you had before you started watching porn and what emotional barriers you carry with you now.

Once you break through those barriers, it will be easier for you to be intimate and your communication skills will be much stronger.

Some common emotional barriers include depression, anxiety, anger, fear, and even pride.

We’ll talk more about mental health in section five but for this lecture I want you to start thinking what kind of emotional barriers may be haunting you.

Once you recognize the barriers you can then start to figure out how to break through them. If the barriers are mental health related then making an appointment with a professional would be a good start. If the barriers come from past experiences then perhaps revisiting those situations to make amends with what happened and start living life in the present moment.

You’ve probably seen this online as I’ve seen it on a bunch of memes but it’s so true. Your past does not define you.

It’s important to observe and pinpoint such barriers

because it’s the only way to dig deeper into your consciousness as a way to heal and get rid of the emotional baggage you have been holding on to for all this time.

That concludes Is Porn Ruining Your Sex Life?  where we talked about real physical touch and why it’s important as well as what emotional barriers you may be having.  Please complete the journal questions and read the extra resources and readings.  When you are finished, move on to the next chapter.   

Welcome to the next section  titled, Porn and Relationships.  We are going to  focus on your childhood and how it may be affecting your porn addiction.  Even if you don’t think your childhood had anything to do with your current addiction, I encourage you to read the full chapter and answer the journal questions.  Deep reflection is part of the healing process.

If you’re taking this course because your partner is addicted to porn then this section is for you too.   We will also touch on those who are in a relationship where both of you are addicted to porn.  

Studies have shown that people who are addicted to porn may have come from past trauma or neglect. To be clear, this lecture is not for everyone and I am in no way saying that you have had past trauma or neglect. However, some of you who are viewing this course may have and that’s why it’s important to explore this topic whether or not you feel you have been a victim in the past.

Porn addiction takes on the chicken or the egg metaphor. Some people turn to porn and become addicted because they are escaping some sort of emotional or physical trauma or perhaps have other mental health struggles going on while other people experience mental health struggles or emotional trauma because they are addicted to porn.

For those of you who are watching this lecture and have had past trauma, it’s really important to talk about and heal from those experiences if you want to be able to fully understand and cure your addiction for good.

People heal from past trauma in many ways

The most common way is to see a counselor or therapist.

Even if you don’t think your past has anything to do with your current situation, I challenge you to think about this a little deeper. And, if you are struggling or have struggled with your past or if you have current mental health struggles today that are related to your past then I urge you to seek professional counseling or therapy in addition to completing this course.

This course is about treating and curing your porn addiction. Your counselor or therapist will be there to help heal your past wounds. The two go together and will be much more successful if you treat both at the same time.

When your partner is addicted to porn it can be just as devastating for you as it is them. Porn addiction should not be treated any different than any other addiction like drugs or alcohol.

If your partner is addicted to porn the first thing you need to do is lay all the cards out on the table. Communication is important and having a conversation is where everything should start.

The thing you need to know as the partner is whether or not your partner wants to stop watching porn. If they are minimizing it or if they don’t think it’s a problem then it’s important to not engage until they are ready to come to terms with the situation.

For example, many people report that if their partner is addicted to porn they just deal with it because they are afraid that their partner will turn to another person. This generally is not the case. People who are addicted to porn do not typically go out and seek other people - that would be a sex addiction not porn addiction. Porn addicts really just want to be left alone so they can get their fix when they feel the need.

The other thing not to do is engage in any sexual acts or offer to watch porn together. This would be enabling them, giving them further ammunition and reassurance that what they are doing is okay and it’s not.

On the other hand, if your partner is acknowledging their problem and wants to change then you can help them by being supportive while they find a recovery plan that works for them.

Think of their addiction like an alcohol addiction. When they are ready to stop, they’ll be okay with putting internet blockers on porn and getting rid of their paraphernalia completely. LIke an alcoholic who wants to quit they would pour the alcohol down the drain. While it’s not foolproof of course because they can just go to the store and buy more, it’s a start.

I would recommend that you encourage your partner to find a program because trying to quit porn without guidance is really, really hard.

Remember, it’s important to take care of yourself through this so you can be better at helping your partner when they are ready. Self care is not selfish, it’s a necessity. If you are watching this lecture and your partner is addicted to porn you are on the right track to being able to fully support them. You’ll gain a lot of knowledge in this course about the physical, emotional, and social factors that influence porn addiction. Thanks for being here.

Many people don’t struggle alone with porn addiction and oftentimes, couples become addicted together. When couples are addicted to porn it looks a bit different than when a person is addicted by themselves.

Typically, the relationship will start as normal and time goes by. One of the partners will suggest watching a porn to get into the mood and then it becomes something that they will watch together a lot, and will find themselves rarely being able to achieve orgasm without watching.

If you struggle with an addiction, and so does your partner, it’s really important to both be on the same page about quitting porn. You’ll need to do this together or it won’t work. It would be ideal for both of you to take this course simultaneously so that you can be very empathetic and understanding of what you both may be going through. In Section 15 we talk about having a reset, which means no porn, no masturbation, and only real sex. This can only be achieved if both of you do it together.

By now you should have a better understanding of how your upbringing and childhood may have affected your perceptions and risk for addictions.  If your partner is addicted to porn you  have a better understanding on how to approach the situation as well as if you are in a relationships where you both are addicted to porn.  It’s time for your journal assignment.  Everybody should do the first assignment about your childhood and only those who have a partner addicted to porn or those who are in a relationship where both of you are addicted to porn should do the following journal assignments.  When you are done with your journal entries be sure to read the article resources and then proceed to the next section.

In this section, Changing the Way you Think about Porn you will be challenged to think differently.  This section is really important and a key component of the entire book.  By the end of this section, pornography will never be the same for you.  You are going to think critically about porn stars and how they are real people and you’ll hear stories and understand the different perspectives coming from both the male and female side, sexually transmitted infections that run rampant among the industry, sex trafficking, and prostitution.  It’s important that you know what’s really going on behind that camera.  Up until now, you’ve likely been able to put a mental barrier between you and the other side but after this section that mental barrier is going to come down, little by little.  

In lecture 8 we talked about observing porn stars and the way they emotionally connect with each other with the understanding that it’s all a complete emotional disconnect. Now I want to dig a little deeper into this topic. Porn stars are real people and once you start to bring some empathy to the situation you may be able to create some space around the thoughts you have while watching porn.

The first thing I want you to do is think of your favorite porn star, male or female, and create an image of them in your head. Now, think of them as they were as a baby, wrapped up in a blanket, in their mother’s arms. When that mother looked into her brand new baby’s eyes, she did not for one moment think they would grow up doing porn.

Now think of what their childhood was like, good or bad, but just think of them as children. If you are picturing them as good children with a loving family, think about their innocence and carefree playfulness. If your immediate thought was that they had a bad childhood and that’s why they turned to porn then think about that too. How terrible and awful it must have been for them to grow up like that. When you think of the best childhoods and the worst childhoods, the truth is, that you’ll find porn stars that come from all walks of life, some good and some not so good but it’s important to visualize what things may have been like for them. At some point though they made a decision to have sex with other people on television for a paycheck. Those same people have mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, nieces, nephews, grandparents and some even had children of their own.

In the next two lectures we’re going to talk about what porn is really like from both the male and female perspective. For now, when you view porn, just create that space around your thoughts. It’s a powerful and important exercise as this is not something most people do or have ever while viewing porn. By the end of this course, you are going to be able to have a completely different view and way of thinking about all of this and this is the path getting there.

Male porn actors are speaking out about the pressures of the adult entertainment industry. Remember in section one where we talked about the history of porn. The evolution of the porn industry, like many other industries, is a constant upping the game concept. Two people having sex isn’t enough anymore. There’s so much more that goes into shooting the scenes in a way to just keep up.

Forbes did an interview with a retired porn star: Christopher Zieschegg. I posted the interview if you want to read it. Christopher stated that he became reliant on Erectile dysfunction drugs as did many performers and developed a condition called priapism which is something that happens when the penis stays erect for long periods of time. It is a very painful and dangerous condition. Most male porn stars use the drugs both orally and as an injection right to the penis so when you watch porn, just know that their penises and extremely hard erections are not that big and never were.

Male porn stars cannot make a career out of being an actor because after just a few short years, the work becomes both physically and mentally draining. Let alone, the impact it has on their own personal relationships. Don’t forget to read the articles and watch the videos I post.

Being a female porn star is a rough gig. While making it big is the ultimate goal, most do not and even those who do get paid a lot, the money doesn’t justify their emotional and physical struggles they encounter.

Female porn stars are actresses and just that. They are not enjoying their work. They do not love giving blow jobs and being gagged and most of them have to practice how not to gag. They don’t like having rough sex with many people or having multiple penises in them at once. Some women report vomiting, vaginal and anal tearing and just breaking down at the end of a shoot completely emotionally and physically exhausted. I have posted a few videos for you to watch at the end of this lecture. Go ahead and watch the videos and then I will see you in the next lecture.

Every state and country has their own laws, and some don’t have any laws, regarding the testing of sexually transmitted infections in the porn industry. That does not stop the spread of the infections.

Considering there are all types of porn out there on the internet, it should be known that some of the industry may have strict testing policies while others, more ameature or underground agencies may not have any. But typically speaking most well known agencies will have, due to a law or just because, their actors and actresses tested once per month for HIV and STIs. Does that stop the spread of gonorrhoea, chlamydia, syphilillus and other STIs? Hell no it doesn’t and there are many reasons for this.

One, not every porn star keeps it within the porn industry. This means that nobody is stopping them from having sex with other people so there is always the risk of them bringing an infection from the outside into the industry.

Second, once per month is not enough. Once per week is not enough. Every day isn’t even enough! Once you contract an STI or HIV you do not get symptoms right away, and because it can take a week or so to get the test results someone could have contracted a disease and spread it to five other people. The cycle continues.

And third, drug use is common in the porn industry so those who use needles may be contracting HIV from places other than sex.

So please think about this the next time you watch porn. Remember, these lectures and activities are here to retrain your brain and this section particularly is here for you to have a different perception about the porn industry. This is called negative associations and this is a way for you to start the rewiring of your brain.

There is not a shortage of female actresses in the porn industry. I was a social worker for the state of Washington and during that time I worked closely with young women who were being sexually trafficked and prostituted. I learned a lot just from talking to them.

Most of the girls I worked with were in foster care or grew up in very broken or abusive households. Many were homeless. Let me tell you how this goes:

An adult male sets out to find vulnerable, young females. This male will start to groom them as early as age 12. They promise to take care of them, take them shopping, buy them expensive things, give them love and shelter in exchange for performing small sexual acts when asked to do so. We know these males as “pimps.” Nobody is looking for these girls as they don’t typically have families that care about them or they are homeless or have ran away from foster care. This process is called grooming and it is basically the job of the pimp to control their girl’s every move. As the girls get older, they start asking more questions and much of the time it’s a promise of being a famous porn star when they turn 18. The pimps like to tell their girls that this is practice and often promise them real acting roles in the near future.

When 18 comes around, their hopes are rarely achieved and the girls become harder to control. Some pimps let them go while others resort to physical and sexual violence to keep them in check. And let’s be clear, while the majority of the children are girls, there are boys that are groomed and trafficked as well. It just may look a little different.

You see, the kids that want to get into to porn, generally speaking, and of course this does not speak for all porn actresses, but again generally and anecdotally, the kids who dream of being a porn star come from very dark and twisted pasts. They see money and fame because they feel worthless and have not been given the skills they need to obtain any other career. Some kids do get small roles and often work for free as a promise to get something better. These kids rarely become famous because like much of the entertainment industry the big famous roles go to those who are confident, know people, and come from large social circles, not those who lack confidence and have pimps doing their work for them. And I think that’s the saddest part - these kids end up with nothing in the end.

That concludes section 4. Here’s the thing. Not everyone knows everything about everything. The more we know, the better we do. For example, years ago, there were no seat belt laws and babies and kids could ride in a car without a car seat or seat belt. People were dying. A lot of people were dying in car accidents. As time evolved, there became more emphasis and focus on seatbelt and car seat safety. Now, most people wear a seatbelt and most parents are sure to use a carseat. In addition, cars are becoming safer with airbags, and other safety controls. So now that we know the dangers of not wearing a seatbelt or buckling up our kids, we do better. What we don’t do is shame our previous generations for not buckling us up. They didn’t know.

It’s similar in the porn industry and having a porn addiction. Most people who watch porn have no idea what is really going on behind the scenes. And, it’s not as if an older generation can give advice because what’s happening today is nothing like how it’s ever been. The point is, now that you know, you can start to do better. This section was here to just educate so you can open your mind and be aware of some of the things that are really happening, in real life. This is only part of the process. Continue to work through each section and do the homework. This section has 5 assignments. Once you complete the assignments you can move onto section five. See you soon.

Welcome to section five. In this section we are going to talk about Erectile Dysfunction Disorder and Female Sexual Dysfunction. Even if you don’t suffer from Erectile Dysfunction Disorder or Female Sexual Dysfunction it’s important to understand it because it’s so common. There are three lectures in this course and two assignments.

Erectile dysfunction disorder is when a man cannot get an erection or cannot get an erection hard enough to have sex. There are lots of reasons for which this can take place but those reasons are broken up into two categories: medical and psychosocial influences.

Physically, if there are underlying health issues that affect the arteries or nerves the result can be EDD. In the next section, I will talk to you about the importance of getting a physical check-up to rule out any underlying physical issues.

EDD can also be a psychosocial response and section 7 we will talk about mental health. Now, it’s not always either or. Sometimes it can be both. For example, someone could suffer from heart disease and anxiety.

Now when it comes to porn, EDD is likely the effect of the viewing of porn.

Remember when we talked about the dopamine response in section one?

Many porn viewers start off watching basic porn and then when that becomes boring they look for more interesting or exciting things.

It’s a cycle that is constantly trying to one-up. When this happens, the porn viewing ends up be so far from reality that when real sex comes around, there’s absolutely no comparison between the two.

Real sex is boring - at least that’s what your brain is telling you. This is a psycho-social response and is why it becomes difficult to get and maintain an erection.

The good news is, is that EDD is completely treatable.

First, you’ll want to see if quitting porn gives you good results, while ruling out physical and mental health struggles.

If quitting porn doesn’t solve your EDD, then you can talk about treatment with your doctor. It’s very common for EDD to completely go away after quitting porn though.

Female Sexual Dysfunction is different from EDD. Female Sexual Dysfunction is lack of interest in sex and/or when a women is unable to reach an orgasm. A woman doesn’t need an erection in order to have sexual intercourse like men do so oftentimes women find themselves hiding or trying to cover up their symptoms due to embarrassment or not wanting to hurt their partner’s feelings.

Similar to erectile dysfunction disorder, there are two categories that can cause female sexual dysfunction: physical and/or emotional. Notice how I say an/or because oftentimes it can be both.From a physical sense, oftentimes it can be hormone related especially if you’ve just had a baby or are pregnant. However, there could be other physical causes like undiagnosed health related issues and in the next unit I will be talking about the importance of seeing a doctor to rule out anything medical related.From an emotional or psychosocial perspective, if a woman suffers from any mental health related problems or past trauma perhaps then this can be a cause and will need to be treated.

A likely cause of female sexual dysfunction, if you are addicted to porn is the porn addiction itself. Once you stop viewing porn, your sexual performance and desires should improve. However, it’s important to work through the next two sections to understand the importance of getting your physical and mental health checked out as you progress through the course.

That’s it for this section.  Be sure to read the article and answer the journal questions before moving on to the next section.

Hello and welcome to section 6. In this section we are going to talk about the importance of your physical health and ruling out any medical concerns. There are three lectures and two assignments and a call to action about making a doctor’s appointment for a complete physical check-up. Let’s get started.

In our last section unit we talked about erectile dysfunction disorder and female sexual dysfunction. Even if you do not experience either of these, it’s important that you continue with this lecture. Your physical health plays a major role in how well and fast you can enter a full recovered state.

I was working with a client once who had a sexual addiction. He was abstaining from sex and it had been a few weeks but he stated that he didn’t understand what was going because he felt so tired and lethargic. In the past, when he was tired or feeling sort of just bummed he would masturbate or watch porn because it would perk him up and make him feel good - remember the lecture about the dopamine? It makes sense right?

Well I ended up having him go to his general practitioner, or GP, and they did a basic check up with some blood work and it turns out that he had an autoimmune disease. It got me thinking about how many other people struggle in recovery may have an undiagnosed physical condition that is causing their lack of motivation or ability to feel okay. Maybe there’s a thyroid issue or hormone problem. Taking care of your body starts with understanding your baseline and ruling out health conditions. Let’s talk in the next lecture about making that doctor’s appointment.

I would encourage everyone who is taking this course to get a physical check up from their doctor. I know that life gets in the way and it’s not typically a priority but I think it’s important because you really want to be sure you are operating at the highest physical level you can.

If you have a GP just make the call - tell them you've been feeling a bit off lately and just want to get a physical or checkup with blood work. You don’t have to tell them anything else. Most insurance companies will cover the majority of the cost.

If you don’t have a doctor or insurance then I would recommend calling around to various doctors, urgent cares, or health clinics.

If everything is normal you’ll have the peace of mind going forward.

If something comes up then you’ll know and understand a little more about your body and you and your doctor can discuss treatment.

That’s it for this section  where we talked about the physical body and how important it is to rule out any medical conditions.  Before moving on to the next chapter, be sure to complete the journal questions and make your doctor’s appointment.

This section is about mental health.  We’ll talk about whether or not you’ll need to see a mental health professional and the different types of professionals.

When I work with people who are addicted to drugs and alcohol and also have a mental health diagnosis, I refer to them as having what is called a co-occurring disorder. This is an official diagnosis when someone has a substance use disorder as well as a mental health disorder.

There is no such term when referring to behavior addictions such as porn, gambling, eating and so on. But that doesn’t mean the concept behind the diagnosis is not the same.

You see, like the chicken and egg theory we talked about in lecture 12 it applies to co-occurring disorders as well. Do people turn to drugs and alcohol because they have an undiagnosed mental health struggle or do they have a mental health struggle caused by drugs and alcohol?

Think of your porn addiction in the same way. Do you have a mental health diagnosis or suspect you may have a mental health disorder? Do you turn to porn to escape something else that may be going on? Or, do you think you may have a mental health disorder that is caused by watching too much porn? Not everyone knows what came first but it really doesn’t matter.

What matters is that if you struggle with anything mental health related your addiction to porn will never be cured if you do not treat your mental health at the same time.This course is here to treat and cure your porn addiction. It is not designed to diagnose and treat anything else so if you are struggling with depression, anxiety, a mood disorder, it is possible that those symptoms will go after your porn addiction is treated but that’s not always the case because if you have something else going on, you will always be looking for ways to self medicate.

You know yourself more than anyone and it’s up to you on whether or not you see a mental health professional.

I have many students who are able to break free from their addiction by taking my course and some students need a mental health professional to help them as well, at the same time. If you are unsure, what I suggest you do is get through the first 30 days and see how you feel. If you feel significant improvement then great!

If not, there may be something else, other than an addiction to porn going on and it would be critical at that point to make the appointment.

Now that we’ve talked about mental health, it’s important to consider all of your options if you feel like you are struggling and need to see a professional. There are different types of mental health professionals. Let me break it down for you.

A psychiatrist is a doctor who prescribes medication. You must have a mental health diagnosis in order to get the medication you need. For example, someone who is diagnosed with depression can go to a psychiatrist to get an antidepressant. While psychiatrists do ask some questions, the appointments are typically short and more about how your medication is or isn’t working.

A psychologist is a doctor who studies mental health processes. A psychologist will observe, record, and interpret human behavior. If you see a psychologist they will give you their professional opinion and interpretation of your situation and likely use your information to further research. Some psychologists will work with clients directly to provide psychotherapy.

A therapist is someone who provides a certain type of therapy. So think of a massage therapist providing massage therapy. When it comes to mental health, therapists are called psychotherapists and can provide the same kind of therapy that psychologists do but psychotherapists are less about research and more about providing specialized therapy.

A counselor is someone who provides guidance rather than therapy. They counsel their patients based on their struggles that are presented during counseling. Most people who struggle with mental health often start with a counselor.

A Peer Support Specialist is someone who unofficially counsels you in a non-office or non-clinical setting. Peer Support Specialists are people who have experienced the same problem and help others by using their own experiences as guidance.

If you feel like you need to see a mental health professional the first step is to find a counseling center or an agency that can provide an evaluation. Having a professional mental health evaluation can point you in the direction of what kind of professional support would be best for you.

This concludes section seven where we talked about the importance of your mental health and whether or not seeing a mental health professional such as a counselor or therapist is right for you. There are two assignments in this unit so go ahead and complete those assignments and I will see you section eight.

In this section you will be logging your porn watching time honestly. After a week you’ll come back to this section and we’ll talk about what you are going to do with the data you gathered.  This section will take approximately 8 days to complete.  7 of those days are just logging time so there will not be any reading or journaling until you have gathered your 7 days of information.  

The amount of time you spend watching porn is probably even more than what you estimate.

Like any addiction, there’s always a certain amount of denial even if you’re fully on board and ready to go.

I want you to get serious now and take a look at the actual amount of time you spend watching porn.

So for one full week, I want you to keep a porn journal and log the time you start and stop.

This activity is about being honest with yourself.

And, don’t worry, you don’t have to show anyone so you don’t have to worry about anyone finding out the truth.

The most important thing is being true to yourself. So go ahead and pause this course for one full week. After the week is over come back to the course so we can reflect on the things you learned. See you in a week.

Hello and welcome back! So it’s been a week and you have filled out the log. Did anything surprise you about the amount of time you spent watching porn? This lecture is twofold:

First, think about your current relationships; your partner, your children, your parents, friends, family, your boss, your colleagues. When you struggle with an addiction it’s important to work on preparing relationships that may be struggling, especially if you have a partner or spouse involved.

Second, I want you to think of something you have always wanted to accomplish? Maybe it’s education related, work related, or just a fun hobby and skill you’ve wanted to learn. Perhaps travel?

Now I want you to take the number of hours you watched porn and divide it by two. For example, if you watched 10 hours of porn last week, divided by 2 makes 5.

In your assignment at the end of this section you’ll be tasked with writing down two things you will be spending your time on: repairing relationships and something new you’ve always wanted to accomplish.

My example of 10 hours, which by the way this is a very low number for typical porn addicts, - I’ve had clients tell me they spend 5 hours per day. But, for the sake of my example, you would put:5 hours per week: spending more time with my wife, adding an extra two hours per week at work to make up for my lost productivity, and reconnecting with my mom who I rarely call anymore.

5 hours per week: I really wanted to learn how to play tennis so I will join a tennis club which meets for 3 hours per week and I will start working on my classic car project for two hours per week.

It’s really important when thinking about new hobbies not to get caught up in trading one addiction for another. You don’t want to trade watching porn for 10 hours per week to going to the casino for 10 hours per week or drinking alcohol for 10 hours each week. Remember, everything is about moderation. In this lecture I am just having you come up with the ideas but you won’t be taking just yet. We’ll talk more about this in section 15.

You logged your time for a full week to get a better understanding of how you spent your time and then started to think about what you will be doing instead later on. As always, be sure to journal and read all the additional resources provided before moving on to the next section.

Welcome to section 7! Congratulations on sticking with it all. Now we are going to start preparing to take action. You see, like any addiction, you can’t just wake up one day and say I’m done. It might work for a few days but a relapse is always inevitable.

The reason that so many people have success in my addiction courses is because I do not tell you to just stop. This is why we talked about the history and hopefully you gained some knowledge about the behind the scenes stuff that goes on as well as some perspective about your own self. And this is also why we are coming up with a plan and not just winging it.

It takes time, preparation, and knowledge in order to kick an addiction. There are four more sections before you take action and each section is equally important. This section, we are going to talk about changing routines, setting a quit date, diet, exercise, and sleep. There are four more lectures in this section and four assignments at the end. Let’s begin.

Let’s talk about why changing your routine is important. An addiction is like a habit.

Remember when you logged your porn watching time? What did you notice about your routine? For this lecture, I want you to write down your daily routine. Then, I want you to make note of the times of day you typically watch porn. Is it in the morning before you go to work? Is it when you get home from work or perhaps at night when everyone is sleeping? Maybe it’s all of those things.

After you write your current schedule I want you to rewrite your daily schedule so that you are doing something before and during those times you typically watch porn. For example, if you currently watch porn right when you get home from work, try and do something else right when you get home. Maybe eat dinner earlier or take your dog for a long walk. Make it a habit and stick with it. If your new schedule starts to not work, redo it again and again and again while finishing this course. Do not get complacent with this task. Some people find that redoing their schedule is really helpful while some people need to re-evaluate every few days. And if that’s you then that’s okay too.

Having new routines can be good for the mind.

Hello and welcome to my favorite section. The reason this is my favorite section is because I’m really excited that you’ve put all the work in and now you can look forward to the day you will be porn free. Setting a quit date is really important. If there are people in your life that know about your addiction it’s important for them to know the day you are quitting so not only are you holding yourself accountable but others can hold you accountable too.

I recommend giving it about a week from today when setting your date.

The reason for this is because there are three more sections after this one where we will be talking about diet, exercise and sleep. You’ll need to know this information before your quit date because it does take a little planning when focusing on these other core aspects. For example, we’ll be talking about how to get better sleep and how much you should be sleeping each night. You’ll want to know that before quitting so that on your quit date you will be getting the full experience of changing your whole life, not just quitting porn.

Also, by giving it a week, it gives you an opportunity to taper down. If you don’t taper, you’ll be quitting cold turkey which is fine but you’ll have better success if you at least try and watch less and less each day. Quitting porn won’t be as difficult. So go ahead and pick a date and write it down. If you can tell someone then great! If not, just know that’s the day where your whole life is going to change.

This is a brief lecture about why diet, exercise, and sleep is critical to your success in this course.

Your diet plays a role in how you feel every day regardless of any addiction. Those who overeat, undereat, eat too much sugar, too many processed foods, too much soda, will not be performing at their peak. I want you to perform at your peak so that you can fully recover from your addiction. If you stop porn but eat crappy food then you’ll still have brain fog and lethargy.

When it comes to exercise, your body needs to move and this is really important for improving your sexual abilities as well, especially if you suffer from erectile dysfunction disorder or female sexual dysfunction. You need to get the blood flowing through your veins and combined with a good diet you are going to notice a significant lifestyle change.

And last, sleep. Sleep is when your brain repairs itself and without sleep you’ll experience much of what we just talked about: lethargy, brain fog, and so on. These three concepts are crucial to your recovery and that’s why I have an entire section dedicated to each. Even if you feel you eat well, exercise, and get enough sleep, please don’t skip these sections.

That concludes section 9. We talked about changing your routine, setting your quit date and how important diet, exercise, and sleep is to your recovery. There are three assignments for this section and after you complete your assignments you can move on to section 10. See you there.

You are almost ready to take action but before  you do, you are going to need to understand the importance of nutrition, exercise, and sleep.  In this section, we are going to talk about sugar and how it affects the brain, eating the right foods and portion control.  Even if you are a healthy eater, I challenge you to watch each lecture and do better.  Nobody has a perfect diet and everyone has something they can improve on. If you have a terrible diet or if you a good and healthy diet, this section is for you and everyone in between.  

Remember in section one when we talked about the negative effects porn has on your brain and we talked about dopamine being the reward system? Sugar works in the exact same way. I am telling you that it’s important for you to quit sugar while you are quitting porn for a very good reason.

When you quit porn, your brain is going to be looking for ways to increase your dopamine levels because your dopamine levels will be very low, at first. A lot of people who quit porn turn to sugar because it makes them feel good and activates the dopamine receptors. The problem with this is that you are literally trading one addiction for another. It’s important to read ingredients because sugar seems to be in almost everything.

When you quit porn, I want you to eventually be able to find pleasure in good activities.

By getting rid of all of the baggage so to speak, like sugar, junk food, alcohol, cigarettes, porn, etc.

Your brain will start repairing itself so fast you’ll be amazed that in just a short amount of time you’ll be free from it all and the best part is, you’ll find pleasure in ways you never thought possible. You’ll have better relationships, be a better student, be more productive at work and the list goes on and on. So while you may think sugar is such a small point to discuss, it’s actually rather large and powerful.

So start as soon as possible. Cut out those sugar drinks like soda and juice, start reading labels, and do not buy the sugar junk food: donuts, pies, cookies, etc.

In section 6 I talked about the importance of getting a check up with blood work. When you get the results you’ll know if you are lacking certain vitamins. That’s important to know so you can make changes in your diet.

Because everyone has different preferences and comes from different cultures I am not going to recommend a specific nutrition plan. I do encourage the idea of finding a nutrition plan, not necessarily a diet plan, but a nutrition plan that looks interesting to you. If you’ve always wanted to try going vegan, gluten free, paleo, whole 30, and the list goes on and on, now is the time to try it. Most plans you can purchase online as a book or online and they come with specific guidelines.

A nutrition plan isn’t for everyone however and if it’s not for you that’s okay too. But, you do need to look at your current diet and see where you can make improvements. Everybody can make improvements somewhere. We already talked about eliminating the sugar from your diet so that takes care of one main key factor to making sure your body is operating at peak performance. Some other changes you need to make are these:

Ensuring you have enough protein every day

Drink plenty of water and eliminate alcohol, soda, and juice from your diet

Eat plenty of fruits and vegetables but be sure you are eating more vegetables than fruit

Make sure you are eating whole grains

Eliminate as many processed foods as you can - if it comes in a can or package it’s probably not that great for you

Read labels! If it has a lot of ingredients in it you’ll probably want to stay away from it

Eat as natural as possible

Okay so we’ve talked about eliminating sugar and eating the ride foods. One more topic in this section and that’s portion control.

This is our last topic in the nutrition section. Let’s talk about portion control. Since nutrition plays a significant role in the recovery process it’s important to understand that eating the right foods is only part of it. The other part is eating the right amount of food.

I’m not big on counting calories. If you are overweight, you’ll want to try and eat a little less. If you are underweight, you’ll want to try and eat a little more. If you are the right weight, you’ll want to try and maintain where you are at. So check your BMI just to be sure you know exactly where you fall. You can find the BMI calculator online.

There are reasons that weight and portion control are topics in this porn addiction. First, when you are knee deep into your addiction, it is likely you are not thinking about making good food choices. Some people watch so much porn they forget to eat and others overcompensate with food when they are not watching porn which is why some of you may be overweight and some of you may be underweight. But the number really isn’t the important thing. It is important to know where you are at but the most important thing is changing your lifestyle.

So when you are eating, focus on how much you are eating in each setting. You will know, without having to count calories, whether or not you are eating too much. If you are overweight then try a nutrition plan or reducing the amount of food you eat in each setting.

A typical diet consists of breakfast, lunch, dinner and a snack or two. What you don’t want to do is snack all day and skip a meal. You also don’t want to skip meals like breakfast or lunch only to gorge at dinner. A steady balance is optimal.

Now if you want a challenge, do some research on intermittent fasting. There’s a lot of research on the health benefits of doing small fasts each day or one day fasts a couple times per week. I posted an article about it if you want to learn more.

I have included many nutrition resources and plans.  Read through them and choose a plan that’s right for you.  Feel free to venture out and find your own plan too!

There are some incredible health benefits for anyone who struggles with any addiction which are peer-reviewed and part of research findings. Here are the general benefits of exercising during recovery and beyond:

• Provides Pleasurable States

• Provides Positive Alternatives

• Exercise can also serve as a healthy, positive means of filling unstructured time

• Reduces Depressive Symptoms and Negative Mood

• Both aerobic and strength training exercise programs during the course of alcohol treatment have resulted in decreased depressive and anxiety symptoms

• Decreases Stress Reactivity and Improve Coping

• Exercise can serve to reduce stress reactivity and to supplant porn watching as a primary coping mechanism

• Increases Self-Efficacy

• Enhancing one's self-efficacy is likely to result in positive behavior change.

• Decreases urges to drink

• Moderate-intensity exercise may provide short-term relief from urges to drink alcohol

All these findings (plus more details if you want to view the scientific details can be found via the [US National Library of Medicine National Institutes of Health website]

There are some incredible health benefits for anyone who struggles with any addiction which are peer-reviewed and part of research findings. Here are the general benefits of exercising during recovery and beyond:

• Provides Pleasurable States

• Provides Positive Alternatives

• Exercise can also serve as a healthy, positive means of filling unstructured time

• Reduces Depressive Symptoms and Negative Mood

• Both aerobic and strength training exercise programs during the course of alcohol treatment have resulted in decreased depressive and anxiety symptoms

• Decreases Stress Reactivity and Improve Coping

• Exercise can serve to reduce stress reactivity and to supplant porn watching as a primary coping mechanism

• Increases Self-Efficacy

• Enhancing one's self-efficacy is likely to result in positive behavior change.

• Decreases urges to drink

• Moderate-intensity exercise may provide short-term relief from urges to drink alcohol

All these findings (plus more details if you want to view the scientific details can be found via the [US National Library of Medicine National Institutes of Health website]

So now that you know how beneficial staying active is for your body and brain it’s important to pick a program that you enjoy. When I say pick a program I don’t necessarily mean you have to go out and spend money on a specific program unless you really think you’ll enjoy it. There are thousands of programs you can choose from. I want you to find something that you actually enjoy because if you enjoy it you will more than likely stick with it and turn it into a fun hobby.

Thinking outside of the box is important. Here are some ideas:

• Find an app

• Join a gym or box

• Hire a personal trainer

• Join an adult sports team (softball, soccer, etc.)

• Take a class (yoga, zumba, etc.)

• Horseback riding

• Running/Hiking/Swimming

You see your possibilities are endless but you need to think of something and try it. If you don’t like it, try something else. The important thing is, is that you are trying and the goal is to eventually find pleasure in what you are doing. Good luck in your program!

That concludes this section on exercise we talked about the importance of keeping your body active and how that helps recovery.  We also talked about how to go about doing so by finding something you enjoy.  Think about these things and start taking action as soon as possible to ensure you are fully into a program no later than your quit date.  Finish the journal entries and be sure to read the additional resources before moving on to the next section.

In this section we are going to talk about the importance of getting good sleep and how to implement sleep goals and good habits.  

In this lecture I want you to think about how much sleep you are currently getting. If you’re up until 2am watching porn, you’re probably not getting enough sleep. So be honest and think back over the past couple of nights and take a log for the next couple of nights and then document how much sleep you get.

The average person needs 7-9 hours of sleep every night. If you find yourself tired or drowsy during the day, you may not be getting enough sleep. In the next lecture, I’m going to give you some tips on how to get better sleep.

I think most adults would agree that they don’t feel like they get enough sleep and that’s because they probably don’t. Sleep is very important for the brain and for recovery so it’s important to start practicing how to sleep now. Lack of sleep can also cause lack of judgement. When you’re tired, you don’t think clearly.

So here are some tips to getting a better night’s sleep.

1. Wake up at the same time every day, even on weekends.

2. Limit daytime sleeping (one 20 min nap is okay but no more than that)

3. Set a bedtime that allows 7-9 hours of sleep

4. Eat your last meal at least three hours before bed

5. Turn off all screens, (phones, laptops, tv, etc.) one hour before bed

6. Read, meditate, pray, listen to music, etc. to fall asleep

If you have trouble falling asleep, don’t give in or give up. Give it a couple of weeks for your body to get used to the change in routine. If you continue to have trouble falling asleep, you can try taking some melatonin or other natural sleep remedies. I would stay away from sleep aides unless absolutely necessary.

If you have trouble staying asleep or suffer from insomnia, don’t lay in bed trying to fight it. If you are awake longer than one hour, get up, get a drink, do something calm. Do not watch TV or look at a screen. You could try reading or journaling for about 30 minutes and then try to sleep again. This trick really can be helpful.

If you suffer from chronic insomnia and none of these tips work for you, you should make an appointment with your doctor.

Many of you have fitness trackers with sleep apps and I find this is a good way to set certain goals but don’t worry if you don’t have one. You can do it manually. Almost everyone can do better with their sleep. In the beginning of this section we talked about you making a note of how much sleep you are really getting. Now I want you to set a sleep goal for yourself. Be sure to set goals that go beyond just the amount of hours you are sleeping. So, for example, if you are currently sleeping about 5 hours per night, set a sleep goal of 7 hours per night. On top of that, be sure to set your bedtime goal and don’t forget about including the quality of sleep you are having.

For example, you could set a goal of having 7 hours of sleep, having a bedtime of 11pm and not waking up more than twice per night. It will take a while to get there but if you implement the nutrition, exercise, and other sleep tips, you will notice that after only a few days of solid practice and implementation your quality of sleep will dramatically increase.

If you find yourself having troubles, ask yourself about how your nutrition has been. For example, if you drink a lot of caffeine or alcohol, your quality of sleep may be hindered. Try to stay away from alcohol completely and limit your caffeine intake to mornings and early afternoons only. Or, if you are eating a lot of sugar and fatty foods, that’s not good for your sleep either. The other thing is your exercise. If you are exercising regularly then your quality of sleep should also improve. Good luck with your sleep goals!

That concludes this section where we talked about the importance of sleep.  The last four sections were all about preparation and now you are ready to take action.  Be sure to do the journal questions for this section.  Once you’re done, be ready to take some action!