Leadership Masterclass

Do You Begin Every Sentence with No, But or However? An easy habit for people who like to win to fall into, and a surefire shortcut for killing conversations, is to start a sentence with “no,” “but,” or “however”. It doesn’t matter how friendly your tone is or how honey sweet you say these words, the message to your recipient is “You are wrong.”

A classic problem of smart, successful people is Adding Too Much Value. This bad habit can be defined as the overwhelming desire to add our two cents to every discussion. 

When asking for input the rules are that the person receiving the ideas cannot judge or critique the ideas. He must just listen and say “thank you.” The person giving the ideas must focus on the future — not the past.

Destructive comments are the cutting, sarcastic comments we let fly with or without intention. They serve no other purpose than to put people down, hurt them, or assert ourselves as “superior.”

How many of you own a dog that you love? At home, who gets the most attention when you get home? Is it (a) your husband, wife, or partner; (b) your kids; or (c) your dog?

This process does not have to take a lot of time or money. There’s something far more valuable: contact. It’s not easy, but I’ve developed a leadership development model that has now proven to work with thousands and thousands of people. This model is just eight steps: Ask, Listen, Think, Thank, Respond, Involve, Change, Follow Up.

Ask: Ask people “How can I be a better _________ (manager, partner, team member, etc.)?

Listen: Listen to their answers.

Think: Think about their input. What does it mean?

Thank: Thank people for sharing this valuable feedback with you.

Respond: Respond positively when receiving input.

Involve: Involve the people around you to support your change efforts.

Change: Change isn’t an academic exercise. Act on what you learn.

Follow-up: Follow up regularly and stakeholders will notice the positive actions you’re taking based their input.

When the steps in the coaching process described below are followed, leaders almost always positive behavioral change – not as judged by themselves, but as judged by pre-selected, key stakeholders.

Leaders are asked to provide feedforward – to give someone else suggestions for the future and help as much as they can. Leaders are also asked to accept feedforward – to listen to suggestions for the future and learn as much as they can. They are not allowed to give feedback about the past. 

Learn as much as you can then help as much as you can.

All of the steps are critical in the process, and step 7 is the one that will take your team to the next level – it is Follow-Up – and it will ensure that the change sticks!

Have you ever tried to change the behavior of a spouse, partner or significant other who had no interest in changing? How much luck did you have there?

Do you ever find that you are not the patient, compassionate problem solver you believe yourself to be?

Discouraged by our failure, overwhelmed and disheartened, it’s hard to commit to change again. We make excuses. We rationalize. We harbor beliefs that trigger all manner of denial and resistance—and we end up changing nothing. Ever. We fail to become the person we want to be.

Discouraged by our failure, overwhelmed and disheartened, it’s hard to commit to change again. We make excuses. We rationalize. We harbor beliefs that trigger all manner of denial and resistance—and we end up changing nothing. Ever. We fail to become the person we want to be.

Alan’s story at Ford is a success story, but it wasn’t always that way for Alan on his leadership journey.

Alan once told me: “Every day I remind myself that leadership is not about me. It is about the great people who are working with me.” 

Every company and leader wants the answer to this “Now what?” question. Engaged employees translate into a productive and successful organization, which is the goal of most every leader and organization I know. And, engagement also translates into a great place to work, which is what employees want.

For many years now, I’ve been using “The Wheel of Change” to help clients decide what to change and where to put their efforts. I’ve taken teams, organizations, friends, and peers through this process, and I’ve even use it myself. It is one of the most helpful tools for behavioral change that I’ve ever found.

Creating represents the positive elements that we want to create in our future.

Preserving represents the positive elements that we want to keep in the future. 

Eliminating represents the negative elements that we want to eliminate in the future. 

Accepting represents the negative elements that we need to accept in the future. 

First, take a deep breath. Take a deeper breath. Now, imagine that you are 95 years old and you are just about to die.

Try my app and spreadsheet for this. By defining what is important to you in the questions and phrasing them in the form of "Did I try my best to....?", you can score your effort in making lasting change. The app will graph your scores against each question and award you with medals and trophies based on achieving the goals you set for yourself on each question. http://www.marshallgoldsmith.com/marshalls-daily-questions-spreadsheet/