Ask Better Questions - Build Better Relationships

Questions help us really connect with people. Questions help us let other people know we care about their ideas and opinions. All too often, our communication is automatic. Accidentally, we communicate from our own perspective and send the wrong messages to the people that matter to us.

It is said: 'we judge ourselves by our intentions, we judge other people by their behaviour'. Asking yourself this key question is a great start to building better, stronger relationships.

If you really want to connect with people, asking questions is key, but so is how well they perceive you listening to their answers.

Closed questions are the staple of everyday conversation. They also have uses in certain questioning strategies however they are helping us give control away.

Introducing the two basic question types: open questions and closed questions, but beware, things are not always as straight forward as they at first appear.

To improve our questioning skills we need to break some habits, and to do that we first need to identify what those habits are. This simple activity will make a start on identifying your everyday habits.

There are two fundamental questioning strategies: Legitimate questions and disguised questions. Which is your preference?

Using a spotter is a simple and effective way to understand your current question habits. 

Put your question habit to the test in this fun and frequently enlightening activity.

If you wondered what made asking consecutive open questions difficult or frustrating - here's your answer.

Wants to find out the facts? This is what you need.

Leading questions can be great in a sales strategy, but are much less useful when you want to connect with and understand another person.

What would you do if......... Just how effective are hypothetical questions?

Probing questions are vitally important questions. They help you to dig deeper into an issue: clarify exactly what a person is meaning. They work best when they are short and simple questions that keep the conversation flowing.

The reflective question is arguably the most powerful tool in your questioning kit bag. Use it wisely and it will serve you well.

A reminder on the importance of being able to identify question types.

Structure is an important element in a conversation. The funnel techniques provides you with the format of a clear structure, without imposing a list of pre-prepared questions. It enables you to react spontaneously to what is being said.

Habits we use everyday become question traps when we are seeking to deeply understand others. Knowing those traps makes them easy to identify and more importantly, easier to avoid in our everyday conversations.

Key responses that you are likely to experience when people are being asked questions.

Listening is something most of us find difficult. Many people have got better at appearing to listen: you know, nodding and grunting to be actively listening. Few actually listen well. here are some tips to help you focus your attention on the responder to your questions.

10 Steps that will help you improve your listening. Some are much more challenging than they first appear, but with practice they are a powerful set of tools and ideas.

A short exercise to practice applying the 10 steps to better listening.

Challenge yourself to identify action points to put your learning into practice. Have you taken every opportunity to participate and learn? What more could you do?

Case Study Review Part 1

Case Study Review Part 2

A good example of the impact a poor questioning strategy can have on a discussion and a relationship.

Here I give a few examples of alternate questions I might have used in the case study situations.

They say it takes 10,000 hours of practice to achieve mastery of anything. Here are some ideas get your practice started and develop your questioning skills to build better relationships

Here is a great example of how badly things can go if you don't pay attention to your questioning strategy.Notice how the interviewers blame the actress rather than recognise their own poor technique.

Time to put all the learning on questioning skills to good use and start building better, stronger relationships.

How to download your course completion certificate.

Links to other courses and more information.